Fashion & Angst

By Mona Meighan. Photos by Victor Yin.

Hey Alpha! Welcome to the second publication of the fashion column “Fashion & Angst”!

With the bitterly cold winter months now upon us, looking fresh and trendy might seem impossible, but fret not! In this edition, I’m going to be talking about two rad fashion items of the season that you’ll be sorry if you ignore.

CROOKS & CASTLES CREWNECK

This first item is a black Crooks & Castles crewneck sweater depicting the company’s famous Medusa logo, a depiction of the evil Medusa’s head with a bandana covering her ugly smile! The clothing company behind this chic sweater has been growing famous in recent years with the “Hypebeast” crowd—who I talked about in my last edition! Another overpriced brand perfect for anybody who wants to look dank, edgy, and cool! It can also be a great addition to any outfit imaginable during this chilly time. My personal favourite is wearing this sweater over an ugly T-shirt from Grade 7 that is acceptable only as a hidden an extra layer for two months out of the year and a pair of black pants that melt together with the sweater’s colour. Perfect for when you’re feeling extra moody! Find yours at your nearby faux high-end store today for the low-low price of $60!

AESTHETIC BEACH SHIRT

Next up is the aesthetic beach shirt that seems oddly out of place in a December edition. Now, you might just be asking “Why on Earth is this silly goof trying to justify a summer shirt in winter?” Good question! This shirt shows a sunny beach featuring both waves and sand. It contrasts cutely on a dark blue shirt, bringing to mind summertime memories! This shirt is a great way to show the rest of the world that you’re not going to let the freezing weather make you feel down in the dumps! Simply pair this shirt with summer-exclusive bottoms, a jacket to keep you from completely freezing to death, and you’re good to go! This shirt can also work with an outfit that tells the world you’ve yet to submit to the winter blues. Add this, and you’ll add that special something to your look that screams “Summer’s long gone but I’m still in denial!” Available at any old clothing store with shirts!

Q&A

Got any questions for me, the most fashionable girl in Alpha? Want to know how to layer five jackets and sweaters? Still wondering what a colour wheel is? Submit any nagging Q’s to me on the Alpha Centauri website, and I’ll solve all your problems with my A’s!

DISCLAIMER: The contents of this column are entirely fictional and purely satirical.