By Katherine Einstein
I’m just getting on my bike to go to school and—OH NO! It’s 7:46 am!
I needed to leave at 7:45 am!
This is a COMPLETE DISASTER.
I’m frantically pedalling and I’m just about to cross the road when I realize that I’ve forgotten my phone and because I’m a teenager, I can’t live without my phone so I drop my bike into a conveniently nearby puddle and run back into the house (I had to scream aggressively at my brother to let me in ‘cause I was too lazy to get my keys out).
At 7:47 am I’m on my way to the Skytrain station, not bothering to turn on the lights on my bike because who cares about safety anyways? You might think I could just bike all the way to school like a normal person who doesn’t live on the opposite side of Burnaby, but nope! And guess what? After the Skytrain, I have to take a bus.
So, I’m almost there (‘there’ being the Skytrain station, not school of course) when I suddenly realize that I don’t know if today I’m just a little late or very late and we all know that biking downhill at ten billion kilometres an hour is a perfect time to check your watch, right?
I lift my right arm off the handlebars and pull up my sleeve so I can see my watch, except there’s the tiny problem that I have zero coordination. All of a sudden, my bike swerves out of control and I almost fall onto the concrete. As consolation, at least now I know that I’m a lot late. Finally, I arrive at the Skytrain station and I can finally shut this rusty chunk of metal away in the bike locker for the day, but the lock is so cold that it’s turned the key into a metal icicle. I spend ten minutes trying to pull it from the lock, wasting even more of my precious time and attracting a surplus of ‘what the heck are you doing’ looks from the strangers waiting for the bus.
I’ve made it to the Skytrain station.
I’ll be fine.
And in fact, the Skytrain is coming right now!
But—oh no! A huge crowd of people who were dropped off by the latest bus are coming up the escalator and—hey! NO! That’s my spot! MY SPOT! But because I have the incredible superpower of invisibility they walk right past me, like I’m not even there and—noooooooo—get on the Skytrain before me.
Now, you might not think this is a big deal, but, you see, I ride a skytrain that’s basically like sardines-in-a-tin, except it’s humans-in-a-Skytrain. I might still be able to fit in so I take a step forward and UM, WHAT?!
That person is WEARING HIS BACKPACK ON THE SKYTRAIN?!
You aren’t supposed to do that, you inconsiderate fool!
Now, if he was holding his backpack in his hand like everyone else there would be room for me, but he isn’t so I can’t get on the Skytrain.
OH CRUEL, CRUEL FATE!
I glare at the boy, step back onto the platform and wait for the next Skytrain.
Then the speaker comes on and what’s that?
“The Eastbound Millennium Line is currently having difficulty with the rails. Passengers at the Sperling-Burnaby Lake station may experience delays. We apologize for any inconvenience.”
And just when I’m about to run away screaming I notice that—what?
The Skytrain is coming?
Oh, right—I take the Westbound Skytrain, not the Eastbound.
When my Skytrain finally comes I become another sardine but there’s no room for me to hold onto the handrail so I have to carefully balance in order to avoid toppling over and sending everyone in the car crashing to the ground in a human domino chain.
By the time the Skytrain reaches my stop I’m so frazzled I almost thank the non-existent driver as I leap onto the platform.
8:31 am. I’m going to be late and—HEY THAT’S THE BUS!
Wait for me!
Wait for MEEEEEEEEE!
I frantically sprint down the stairs (‘cause we all know that’s a good idea), and may or may not have shoved several people out of the way as I barged through the crowded walkway, but in the end it’s worth it ‘cause at 8:32 am I make it onto the bus and who cares if I’m on the verge of hyperventilating. I’m sure we can all agree that getting to school on time is more important than anything else in life.
At 8:33 am the bus leaves.
It’s not at my stop yet.
It’s at my stop.
Past my stop?
My stop was two blocks back, you dummy.
Oh, that’s right. There’s actually also a world outside of the bus route. I look out the window—construction is blocking the stops and crushing all my hopes and dreams.
But that’s irrelevant because now I can finally get off (not bothering to say thank you this time now that the driver is an actual human, of course) and I race to the school and it’s--
8:40 am. Just in time. I’m just about to start singing when I realize that I’ve forgotten a crucial bit of information.
It’s a Pro-D today.